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Issue Number 12
Friends, I would like the chance to speak to you about the thing which has come to pass, before I go to the place at which I must die. However, since time is short, I must reduce this last conversation of my heart to paper and forfeit our dialog, our dance.
The fire in my apartment was no accident, it was an attempt to kill me as I slept. The powers of the old Regina had to silence me, had to silence the truth, had to silence your voices, before too much changed. It was my partner, Mercer Black, Regina Security, and those who pull the strings behind the stage that put torch to our dreams. Because I believe that what is done, should be done in the light, I have summoned Black and witnesses to Aguilon Park this afternoon for a duel. I consider myself the aggrieved party, having been set on fire, and therefore I have chosen blades to cut to the heart of the problem. Given Black's occupation, I have no illusions as to whether I can win a fair fight. Be this as it may, I have also invited the Sengi and requested that they ensure the honor and integrity of this duel, allowing no one to interfere, until either Black or I am dead. In this way, I hope to prevent innocents from being crushed in this battle.
In the lives of peoples, as in the lives of men, everything is not done by destiny. It is necessary for peoples, like men, to help their destiny. I am the head of my people not only be a decree of destiny. I am there because, without knowing it perhaps, I prepared myself for it as though I had known that someday this responsibility and privilege would be my lot. I believe that my people, too, prepared patiently, although unwittingly, for this hour of destiny.
What providence does is to arrange the necessary circumstances so that things happen subsequently in one way and not another. But things almost always happen through our "fault". Often I think that had I been born in any other part of the Imperium perhaps today I should not be your governor. Because if I had been born elsewhere, my surroundings would have given me other inclinations...I would not have chosen a naval career, would not have learned there the things that I did learn. I would never have found myself obliged to start a revolution. These things are in the hands of providence! I do not believe that one can discover why, or explain anything of it's mechanism. All the rest we do ourselves!
Thus it was that one day I found myself in the circumstances which have decided my destiny. The planet of my “exile” was alone. It was off it's course, unguided and without a compass. All had been handed to the oligarchs. The people, lacking justice, were oppressed and incapable. International forces and foreign powers submitted them to a dominion not far removed from colonial exploitation. I realized that all could be remedied. Little by little it dawned on me that it was I who could remedy it. From that moment my planet's problem became my own problem. I solved it by deciding on our revolution.
And what is my due? What rewards will you give to a woman who have never had the wit to be idle during her whole life; but has been careless of what the many care for - wealth and family interests, military and political offices, citizenship, plots and parties? Reflecting that I was really too honest a woman to be a politician and live, I did not go where I could do no good to you and to myself; but where I could do the greatest good privately to every one of you, there I went. And I sought to persuade every sophant among you that he must look to himself, and seek virtue before private gain, and look to the State before he looks to the interests of the State; and that these should be the priorities he uses to decide his actions.
It is my destiny that has brought me to this crossroads and standing here surveying my life, I am satisfied that I have done all that I could for you. I thank providence that I fear not. I see no real cause for fear. I know our situation well, and can see the way out of it. Often in battle there can be no doubt that if a soldier will throw away her arms and fall to her knees before her pursuers, she may escape death; and in other dangers there are other ways of escaping death, if a woman is willing to say and do anything. The difficulty, my friends, is not to avoid death, but to avoid evil; for that runs faster than death. I am just a simple woman and the slower runner has overtaken me, and my accusers are keen and quick, and the faster runner, who is evil, has overtaken them. And now I depart condemned by them to suffer the penalty of death; they too go their ways condemned by the truth to suffer the penalty of villainy and wrong; and I must abide by my award - let them abide by theirs. I supposed that these things may be regarded as fated and I think that they are well.
There are cases which cannot be overdone by language, and this is one. There are persons too who see not the full extent of the evil which threatens them, they solace themselves with hopes that the enemy if they succeed, will be merciful. It is the madness of folly to expect mercy from those who refuse to do justice; and even mercy, where conquest is the object, is only a trick of war: the cunning of the fox is as murderous as the violence of the wolf; and we ought to guard equally against both.
And now, O men who have condemned me, I am compelled prophesy to you; for I am about to die, and in the hour of death men are gifted with prophetic power. And I prophesy to you that are my murderers, that immediately after my departure, punishment far heavier than you have inflicted upon me will surely await you. Me you have killed because you wanted to escape the accuser, and not give an account of your lives. But that will not be as you suppose: far otherwise. For I say that there will be more accusers of you than there are now; accusers who before now I have restrained: and as they are younger they will be more inconsiderate with you, and you will be more offended by them. Having witnessed what you have done to me, they will not make the mistake of opposing you openly, in ways that are easily crushed. However, I will be with them, and they will be with you, waiting and watching. If you think that by killing men you can prevent some one from censuring your evil lives, you are mistaken; that is not the way of escape which is possible or honorable; the easiest and the noblest way is not to be disabling others, but to be improving yourselves.
My people, you will remain in my heart as long as my heart beats in this breast. The revolution is yours alone now.