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Hey Colonel, nice to see you back in action again. You probably don't remember me but I served under your command back in '15. I was a green recruit back then but I never forgot your words of wisdom. I especially look forward to reading your articles. I wanted to write and tell you about a close call I had with a REMF a few years ago. By the way. I am still in the marine corps. "Semper Fi! Do or Die!"

Anyway, like I was saying I had this division C.O. who wanted to play soldier. He was an old bulldog from way back. Older than you even. He thought he was a real leatherneck I guess. Sometimes you can never tell with these high bred types.

So here we were all sitting in our little holes we dug only an hour ago and this general shows up. He's wearing all his ribbons and awards like he was on parade. No matter that the projectiles were flying past like a swarm of angry locusts.

Well at about the time this general gets his fat ass out of his seat and hits the dirt then the enemy fire picks up. An incoming mortar round takes out the general's transport like it never existed in the first place. We can all just imagine the crap we're gonna catch when the company CO hears about this. Some of us get volunteered to go look for what's left of the general. I was picked to go point because I was the last one to piss of the Sgt. Major. Guess he figured I deserved whatever I got.

When we got to the impact zone of the mortar we found bits and pieces of the generals vehicle. Probably could have counted it as parts per million. But we couldn't find any sign of the general. We start a search, when all of the sudden we hear this screaming like a banshee from hell itself. I figured that the general has woken up and found one of his arms or legs gone. Me and my team follow the sound back to its source. You would never guess what we found about half a click beyond the wrecked

We get to the source of the screaming and find the general. Instead of being a pile of whimpering blood and bone he's standing over a three man advance recon squad from the enemy side. We had no clue they were there. Anyways this general is bleeding and his clothes are in shreds from the mortar blast. He was screaming at these cowering soldiers. He took turns shoving his service pistol into the left nostril of each of the enemy soldiers. Telling them what he was going to do to them for blowing up his transport. I guess they just walked past him originally taking him for just another dead body.

Well the general turns and sees us. I've never seen a scarier face in all my life. It was my hope that the general recognized us as being on his side. I wasn't looking forward to staring down the barrel of his handgun. That's when I saw the remains of the decorations on the generals tattered uniform. Get this... He had an SEH. I figure that seeing some of his own calmed the general down a bit. He ordered us to march the enemy soldiers back to our line and make them pick up every single piece of his vehicle. He advised us to remain in our holes while we kept our weapons trained on the captured soldiers. Well we did as ordered of course. They managed to collect about 15% of the generals vehicle before they were killed by friendly fire. Later I found out that this general was a former NCO. Hey I guess life does get better after all.

Keep your head down Col. I hear things are real hot up in Gvurrdon. Just the scuttlebutt, you know. Keep us up on those rear echelon types. Don't let them forget us pukes on the line.

Sherman Cotton Cpl. 1st. Company 4417th.

I'll keep you informed Corporal. You'll be happy to know that the new 6th Corps commanding general was also an NCO from way back. Rumor has it he IS the bulldog.
-ed.