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The grisly remains of former police officer Myron Brubaker were found by his landlady this morning, the victim of an apparent suicide. Brubaker, a corrupt cop in the old style, gained infamy as a police officer who, though indicted 17 times for corruption and other alledged crimes, seemed immune to the law and even his own department. He answers to a higher court this morning. Brubaker, known for his swagger as well as the sawed-off shotgun he carried propped on his right hip, boasted once to this reporter that he had "enough dirt on everybody" to get him out of any charges in any court. Early this morning, he was carried out of his one room apartment, his bloodied remains covered in the cloak of a Coroner's black rubber body bag. However, the Tattler has learned that forensic specialists found three guass pistol rounds in the Brubaker's shattered and mangled skull. When asked about the case, Starport Police gave an expected "no comment". Was Teflon Brubaker silenced before he could reveal the deep corruption in the Police force? Or was he just the victim of a 'Regina Suicide'. Whoever the killer is, this writer nominates him as the Tattler's Citizen of the Week. Performance artist Zhng Xxlot said he wanted to "explore the physical and psychological effects of sophont violence in modern society" in his display at the at the Regina Art Museum. To accomplish that goal, he stripped naked, lay face-down on a tree branch, and had an assistant pour pureed hot dogs on him. But that wasn't the performance -- eight thragrs were then brought in for a sniff. One of the thragrs promptly "took a bite out of his butt." ...It's a dog eat dog world.
Volume 1977 Issue Number 1
3-1122
Worst Cop Dead
Myron "Teflon" Brubaker Found With Head Nearly Decaptitated
By Peter Paul Weseli
Initial reports indicated that Brubaker had committed suicide after his "forced" retirement by placing the barrels of his sawed-off shotgun into his mouth and pulling the trigger.
Don't Relish The Thought